May 8, 2009

FACEBOOK FUN TIME!

Here’s a neat little easter egg the Facebook programmers hid in the code:

Open your Facebook homepage, then (using the arrow pad) type:

up up down down left right left right

Type “ba” and hit “enter”

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May 3, 2009
Tony Blair’s sister-in-law, Lauren Booth (pictured here with her TigerBeat collage of hunky Palestinian leaders) changed her status from “Married” to “Single” just for funsies. When her perplexed husband, Craig Darby, confronted her about the change, she changed it back, feeling guilty.  But then to add injury to insult, Darby fell into a coma the following day after a severe motorcycle accident. Do you need any more evidence that God hates Facebook Divorces?!?!

Tony Blair’s sister-in-law, Lauren Booth (pictured here with her TigerBeat collage of hunky Palestinian leaders) changed her status from “Married” to “Single” just for funsies.

When her perplexed husband, Craig Darby, confronted her about the change, she changed it back, feeling guilty.  But then to add injury to insult, Darby fell into a coma the following day after a severe motorcycle accident.

Do you need any more evidence that God hates Facebook Divorces?!?!

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April 29, 2009
Here's a Tip...

If you’re going to take a sick-day from work, claiming you’re too sick to use a computer, don’t let your boss catch you on Facebook.

You could end up unemployed, like this Swiss lady.  Come on, guys!  You should know this by now.  Am I talking into a vacuum???

(Thanks to Status:Wrong for the link!)

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File under Facebook Divorce: A furious fiancee dumped and dubbed her boyfriend “traitor pig” after catching him fondling another girl’s boobs on Facebook just days before their wedding. (Thanks to Status:Wrong for the article!)

File under Facebook Divorce:

A furious fiancee dumped and dubbed her boyfriend “traitor pig” after catching him fondling another girl’s boobs on Facebook just days before their wedding.

(Thanks to Status:Wrong for the article!)

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April 24, 2009
Did Julia Allison Break the Law in Search of Facebook Fame? Read Owen Thomas’ article on Valleywag

Did Julia Allison Break the Law in Search of Facebook Fame?

Read Owen Thomas’ article on Valleywag

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When Headmistress Belinda Langley-Bliss sent home 61 students for dress-code violations, she didn’t consider how they would spend their free-time. Certainly she must not have expected them to do some Facebook reconnosence into her past and organize a digital-revenge.  Amongst loose useage of the “f-word” and gloating about her breasts (‘They are fabulous aren’t they … they are now bigger - and solid!’), the students also discovered that Belinda didn’t show much respect for dress codes when she was a student herself… 20 years ago: “Her tie was clearly visible under the back of her collar, her sleeves were scruffily rolled up above her elbows, and her hair was teased into a classic 1980s quiff.” Students and parents are now crying shenanigans, while the rest of the world shakes its head in embarrassment for everyone involved in this dumb episode from Wilmington Enterprise College.

When Headmistress Belinda Langley-Bliss sent home 61 students for dress-code violations, she didn’t consider how they would spend their free-time.

Certainly she must not have expected them to do some Facebook reconnosence into her past and organize a digital-revenge.  Amongst loose useage of the “f-word” and gloating about her breasts (‘They are fabulous aren’t they … they are now bigger - and solid!’), the students also discovered that Belinda didn’t show much respect for dress codes when she was a student herself… 20 years ago:

“Her tie was clearly visible under the back of her collar, her sleeves were scruffily rolled up above her elbows, and her hair was teased into a classic 1980s quiff.”

Students and parents are now crying shenanigans, while the rest of the world shakes its head in embarrassment for everyone involved in this dumb episode from Wilmington Enterprise College.

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April 22, 2009
Long I’ve waited to see what happens when the Facebook generation starts running for office, and today I finally got to enjoy the first sweet eye-tastes: Canadian candidate Ray Lam has withdrawn from the race after racy photos were pulled from his private Facebook profile.  Besides the one pictured above, there is another classy pic with a happy couple touching his underwear.  Sounds sexy, right?  Click on the link to see it. I’ll wait… Kind of gross, right?  You know, on second thought, I liked it better when politicians left their scandals to our imaginations.  Facebook has ruined the romance.

Long I’ve waited to see what happens when the Facebook generation starts running for office, and today I finally got to enjoy the first sweet eye-tastes:

Canadian candidate Ray Lam has withdrawn from the race after racy photos were pulled from his private Facebook profile.  Besides the one pictured above, there is another classy pic with a happy couple touching his underwear.  Sounds sexy, right?  Click on the link to see it. I’ll wait…

Kind of gross, right?  You know, on second thought, I liked it better when politicians left their scandals to our imaginations.  Facebook has ruined the romance.

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April 17, 2009
This guy? A racist???  Who would have ever thought!!! Back in March of 2007 (yeah, we’re a little behind) USC linebacker Chris Matthews (pictured above) created a Facebook group called White Nation, “as a joke,” for himself and teammates David Buehler, Brian Cushing, Dan Deckas and Dallas Sartz, who collectively had been lovingly nicknamed “White Nation” by the rest of the team. Their Facebook group had a picture of a black baby in handcuffs and pledged of “protecting the Arian (sic) brotherhood.” A lot of students at USC didn’t get this hilarious knee-slapper of a joke, and joined another group instead: Clay Matthews (USC football player) expresses anti-black sentiment (not as catchy a title, but at least it makes its point). After talking it over a set of squats and a circle-jerk, Matthews and his cronies agreed to take down the site and issue an apology. You might remember Texas’ Buck Burnette, whose similar racist gaffe got him kicked off the team.  At USC, he only would have had to apologize.  Keep that in mind, all you perspective college footballers… who just also happen to be racists.

This guy? A racist???  Who would have ever thought!!!

Back in March of 2007 (yeah, we’re a little behind) USC linebacker Chris Matthews (pictured above) created a Facebook group called White Nation, “as a joke,” for himself and teammates David Buehler, Brian Cushing, Dan Deckas and Dallas Sartz, who collectively had been lovingly nicknamed “White Nation” by the rest of the team.

Their Facebook group had a picture of a black baby in handcuffs and pledged of “protecting the Arian (sic) brotherhood.”

A lot of students at USC didn’t get this hilarious knee-slapper of a joke, and joined another group instead: Clay Matthews (USC football player) expresses anti-black sentiment (not as catchy a title, but at least it makes its point).

After talking it over a set of squats and a circle-jerk, Matthews and his cronies agreed to take down the site and issue an apology.

You might remember Texas’ Buck Burnette, whose similar racist gaffe got him kicked off the team.  At USC, he only would have had to apologize.  Keep that in mind, all you perspective college footballers… who just also happen to be racists.

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April 10, 2009
Next time you log into Facebook, consider the ramifications it might have on your insurance policy...

Brendon Bishop was in a car crash in 2005, which he says has left him too fatigued to work.  He is suing his insurance agency, as well as the other driver, for permanent disability payments to cover past and future wage loss.

The court has accepted the defense’s request to examine the amount of time he spends on Facebook while at work (Maybe there’s a really intense game of Scrabble keeping him up at night).

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We’ve seen universities do it, we’ve seen employers do it, and the authorities practically wrote the book on it.  Now even the NFL is getting in on the fun, setting up fake Facebook profiles to candidly and discreetly (or maybe just creepily) check out their prospective draft picks.

But let’s get a honest dialogue going here, NFL.  Maybe some good, ol’ fashion, R. Kelly-style real talk: if the next Matt Leinhart gets caught with a bunch of ASU teenies, are you honestly going to reconsider drafting his ass over a no-name, straight-arrow Skip Dickley?  Yeah, I wouldn’t either.

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It's the REVENGE OF THE TASK FORCE DETECTIVES!

Cynthia Horvath, a former Warner Christian Academy teacher who was convicted of a sexual affair with a 17-year-old student, has been caught violating a judge’s order by continuing to chat with teenagers on Facebook.

How did the police find out, you ask?  That’s right; more To Catch a Predator style online quasi-entrapment!  All they had to do was send her a friend request and wait for her to accept…  Her lawyer, Aaron Delgado, makes a good point: maybe its about time everyone begin doing background checks before accepting friend requests; you never know when someone’s a predator or the police.  Either way, you’re screwed.

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File this one under “BARF”: Chrissy Schilling had a baby.  Then she and her twin sister, Kathy Schilling, participated in the time-honored tradition of placentophagy… cooking and eating her placenta.  Then they posted the pics on Facebook. I will never look at meatballs the same again…

File this one under “BARF”:

Chrissy Schilling had a baby.  Then she and her twin sister, Kathy Schilling, participated in the time-honored tradition of placentophagy… cooking and eating her placenta.  Then they posted the pics on Facebook.

I will never look at meatballs the same again…

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40-year-old minister Robert M. Black, who goes by the Facebook alias John Still (which also doubles as an incredibly uninspiring pornstar name), has recently been charged with attempted statutory rape and enticement of a child under 15, after telling a 13-year-old girl to meet him at a local bowling alley for some pantieless bible study.  The 13-year-old “girl” was actually a task force detective. When I was 13, the best summer job I could find was scrubbing algae from the tanks of an exotic fish store.  (I dare you to try and make that sound sexy). More and more often, authorities are turning to fake Facebook-profiles to do Nightline-esque busts of potential pedophiles.  If you’d like to be the next contestant on Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator, friend Chris Hansen here. Then start sending him dirty pictures.

40-year-old minister Robert M. Black, who goes by the Facebook alias John Still (which also doubles as an incredibly uninspiring pornstar name), has recently been charged with attempted statutory rape and enticement of a child under 15, after telling a 13-year-old girl to meet him at a local bowling alley for some pantieless bible study.  The 13-year-old “girl” was actually a task force detective.

When I was 13, the best summer job I could find was scrubbing algae from the tanks of an exotic fish store.  (I dare you to try and make that sound sexy).

More and more often, authorities are turning to fake Facebook-profiles to do Nightline-esque busts of potential pedophiles.  If you’d like to be the next contestant on Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator, friend Chris Hansen here. Then start sending him dirty pictures.

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reblogged from deleteyourself: “Is this necessary? I mean most people on there are retarded with glee taking quizes [sic] and adding applications left and right…so maybe.” I should have written this book… or at least a chapter of cautionary tales.

reblogged from deleteyourself:

“Is this necessary? I mean most people on there are retarded with glee taking quizes [sic] and adding applications left and right…so maybe.”

I should have written this book… or at least a chapter of cautionary tales.

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April 3, 2009
"Bikini contest at teen dance club" (what could possibly go wrong???)

Jeff LaFave, owner of Primal- a club for 14-19 year olds, has to answer to a mob of angry parents after advertising a tweeny-bikini competition he hosted on Facebook.

No, we don’t have any photos from the event, dear pedophiles.  But you’re more than welcome to become a Facebook fan of Primal here.

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