The Disgracebook

You may have heard about these supposed Russian spies embedded deep within the America.  Heck, one of them might have been your neighbor. 

According to the allegations, their objective was supposedly to (1) blend in with Americans, (2) acquire state secrets (I guess once you’re all “apple pie and baseball,” somebody from the Pentagon FedExes these to you), (3) share said secrets with Mother Russia.

Well, these spies all failed at #2 & #3, but a few of them totally mastered #1.  Mikhail Semenko and the steamy Anna Chapman were all about the Facebook.

Check out their fun photos at GAWKER.

His statement was in regards to his personal distaste towards Japanese anime.  And, we are assuming, the Japanese at large.

Pasquale Manfredi, 33, a boss of the the ferocious ‘Ndrangheta mafia organization from the Calabria region in southern Italy, logged into Facebook so often that authorities could track his location.  ABC News has the fully awesome story (which includes my favorite sentence ever):

A vicious mafia boss who had been on the run for months, was betrayed by his passion for social networking.

Et tu Facebook?

Joe Quirk wrote a delightfully brilliant article for h+ Magazine that calls us on our bullshit: Disgracebook

a choice excerpt:

Shakespeare was right. All the world really will be a stage. He just didn’t realize it’d be The Jerry Springer Show.

Imagine if all your binges, barfs, and buttburps were posted for infinite reliving, an everlasting record of all your dumbass deeds. You won’t get fifteen minutes of fame — you’ll get an eternity of infamy. This will change you more fundamentally than any cranial implant. Consider that your deepest needs are to be loved and to belong.

Quirk’s article is definitely worth a read.  He makes the case more eloquently and humanely than we ever could.  We might as well pack up our power-cords and go home.

If you’re in the military, here’s a tip: don’t put upcoming missions in your Facebook status. You wouldn’t think someone would need to tell you that, but here we are…

But it would be inhumane to limit their internet access, right?  We only do that to our employees and children.

Thanks for taking over our job, CNN.  Now I guess we better go cover the financial crisis and the war in Afghanistan.

Whilst robbing diamonds from a house, 19 yr old Jonathan Parker took a reprieve to check -and subsequently forget to log out- of his facebook account.  We can only assume his status now reads: “Jonathan Parker is doing time” for the next 10 years.