March 9, 2010

the best moment from the Oscars remixed.  Another way Elinor Burkett out-Kanyed Kanye.

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March 5, 2010
Katie ratted on her teenage brother for his secret beer stash.  She lived to regret it, as he retaliated by posting her “hook up” list on facebook and tagged all the boys.

Katie ratted on her teenage brother for his secret beer stash.  She lived to regret it, as he retaliated by posting her “hook up” list on facebook and tagged all the boys.

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March 4, 2010
From Gizmodo: Israeli Raid Cancelled After Very Stupid Facebook Post

If you’re in the military, here’s a tip: don’t put upcoming missions in your Facebook status. You wouldn’t think someone would need to tell you that, but here we are…

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February 19, 2010
TIME: "Prisoners Use Facebook to Harass their Victims"

But it would be inhumane to limit their internet access, right?  We only do that to our employees and children.

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Nothing says Black History Month like blatantly racist keg parties.

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December 1, 2009
It's not News, It's CNN...

Thanks for taking over our job, CNN.  Now I guess we better go cover the financial crisis and the war in Afghanistan.

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November 13, 2009
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September 17, 2009
a tip for would-be burglars: Wait until you get back home to check your facebook

Whilst robbing diamonds from a house, 19 yr old Jonathan Parker took a reprieve to check -and subsequently forget to log out- of his facebook account.  We can only assume his status now reads: “Jonathan Parker is doing time” for the next 10 years.

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August 5, 2009
Elizabeth Carlisle, formerly of an Akron, OH Petland, decided to reenact The Abyss -specifically the drowning scene- as performed by bunnies.  She then posted a photo of the terrifying aftermath on her Facebook. Thank God she did, as the response from appalled bunny-lovers everywhere has been swift and decisive.  Petland immediately fired heartless she-bitch Carlisle, permanently shuttered the Akron store, and contacted authorities, who are now investigating further.  This begs the question: How many animals did she kill BEFORE she got a camera??? Until things settle, we suggest keeping Floppy’s hatch indoors and impressionable youths away from any Andy Riley books.

Elizabeth Carlisle, formerly of an Akron, OH Petland, decided to reenact The Abyss -specifically the drowning scene- as performed by bunnies.  She then posted a photo of the terrifying aftermath on her Facebook.

Thank God she did, as the response from appalled bunny-lovers everywhere has been swift and decisive.  Petland immediately fired heartless she-bitch Carlisle, permanently shuttered the Akron store, and contacted authorities, who are now investigating further.  This begs the question: How many animals did she kill BEFORE she got a camera???

Until things settle, we suggest keeping Floppy’s hatch indoors and impressionable youths away from any Andy Riley books.

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July 6, 2009
Gawker’s blogger Pareene asks: First of all, why is a vice chairwoman [Audre Shay] of the Young Republicans 38 years old? And secondly, why is she “lol”-ing at racist Facebook comments? Oh, right, because she is a vice chairwoman of the Young Republicans.

Gawker’s blogger Pareene asks:

First of all, why is a vice chairwoman [Audre Shay] of the Young Republicans 38 years old? And secondly, why is she “lol”-ing at racist Facebook comments? Oh, right, because she is a vice chairwoman of the Young Republicans.

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July 5, 2009
Sir John Sawers, who is to take over as chief of the UK Secret Intelligence Service, MI6, and the new British cybersecurity organization, experienced his own personal security breach face-omelet, when his wife posted intimate details and photos of their family and friends on her Facebook profile. Coming to the defense of spy chief Sawers, British Foreign Secretary David Miliband had this to say: “You know he wears Speedo, swim, swimming, swimsuit… I mean what is that? I mean, that’s not a state secret.” Good point.  Regardless, this was still a major coup for SPECTRE, and you can be certain James Bond is furiously changing his privacy settings right this moment. See some Sawers Family Photos on Daily Mail

Sir John Sawers, who is to take over as chief of the UK Secret Intelligence Service, MI6, and the new British cybersecurity organization, experienced his own personal security breach face-omelet, when his wife posted intimate details and photos of their family and friends on her Facebook profile.

Coming to the defense of spy chief Sawers, British Foreign Secretary David Miliband had this to say: “You know he wears Speedo, swim, swimming, swimsuit… I mean what is that? I mean, that’s not a state secret.”

Good point.  Regardless, this was still a major coup for SPECTRE, and you can be certain James Bond is furiously changing his privacy settings right this moment.

See some Sawers Family Photos on Daily Mail

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June 25, 2009
If you’ve been living without internet access and/or in Iran the past week, you may have missed the most heartbreaking image to sweep the world since, well, anything coming out of Iran: Megan Fox unintentionally snubbing a young, adoring fan. But, thankfully, the noble blogosphere won’t sit idly by and allow such atrocities to cripple the hopes and dreams of this bright-eyed youth.  When made aware of the snub by an overwhelming internet response, Ms. Fox immediately offered a personal apology… if anyone could find the kid with the yellow rose.  Kodak, being the selfless-slash-opportunistic corporation it is, began a wide-reaching search to find this mystery “Flower Child” and make this face-to-face meeting of idol and idolizer a reality.  Lo and Behold, within 24 hours, Fox’s Flower Child had a name -Harvii- and his Facebook profile had been published on Gawker . My name is THE INTERWEBZ. Gaze upon my triumphs of Good, ye Mighty, and wonder!” …But upon closer inspection, something about Harvii’s facebook rubs me the wrong way…  Is that a picture of him with Lady Gaga?  And again with the Ugly Jonas Brother?  Is that him with those stupid gimmicky Kanye plantation-shutter sunglasses???  Methinks our sympathy has been snatched by a star-fucker… And hold the phone, what does that say under birthdate?  “1983?!?!?!” This is no Flower Child.  This is a Flower MAN! My name is THE INTERWEBZ. Gaze upon my works of pure, hoodwinking Evil, ye Meak, and DESPAIR!”

If you’ve been living without internet access and/or in Iran the past week, you may have missed the most heartbreaking image to sweep the world since, well, anything coming out of Iran: Megan Fox unintentionally snubbing a young, adoring fan.

But, thankfully, the noble blogosphere won’t sit idly by and allow such atrocities to cripple the hopes and dreams of this bright-eyed youth.  When made aware of the snub by an overwhelming internet response, Ms. Fox immediately offered a personal apology… if anyone could find the kid with the yellow rose.  Kodak, being the selfless-slash-opportunistic corporation it is, began a wide-reaching search to find this mystery “Flower Child” and make this face-to-face meeting of idol and idolizer a reality.  Lo and Behold, within 24 hours, Fox’s Flower Child had a name -Harvii- and his Facebook profile had been published on Gawker .

My name is THE INTERWEBZ. Gaze upon my triumphs of Good, ye Mighty, and wonder!”

…But upon closer inspection, something about Harvii’s facebook rubs me the wrong way…  Is that a picture of him with Lady Gaga?  And again with the Ugly Jonas Brother?  Is that him with those stupid gimmicky Kanye plantation-shutter sunglasses???  Methinks our sympathy has been snatched by a star-fucker…

And hold the phone, what does that say under birthdate?  “1983?!?!?!” This is no Flower Child.  This is a Flower MAN!

My name is THE INTERWEBZ. Gaze upon my works of pure, hoodwinking Evil, ye Meak, and DESPAIR!”

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June 22, 2009
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June 4, 2009
Job Title: EMT / Dead Body Photographer

As an EMT, Mark Musarella’s chief concern is saving lives.  Failing that, he’ll take pictures of the dead and post them on his Facebook.

Musarella lost his job and now faces a year in prison after taking a picture of a strangled body.  To add internet insult to injury, investigators believe the deceased was murdered as a result of out-of-control social website rumors.   Can’t we all just get along online?

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If you are an underage co-ed charged with a fatal DUI, you probably shouldn't post pics on Facebook drinking with your friends... unless you are hoping for some new "jewelry"

Taken from Fark.com

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